Learning to drive is harder for Shea Kelly than for others her age.  “I was doing it all wrong.  I was supposed to be parking, and I was putting it in drive,” she says.

She gets confused between the ‘D’ for ‘Drive’ and the ‘P’ for ‘Park’ because Shea has dyslexia.

“In sixth grade she was at a third grade reading level,” explains her mother, Debra Kelly.

Reading, writing and spelling are all very hard for Shea, but she says the hardest part of having a learning disability is dealing with the things other people say.  “They would just be like, oh you’re stupid, you’re dyslexic, you don’t know how to read,” she explains.

Experts worry that disabled kids will start to believe what they hear.  “And when you’re seven years old and you start believing that about yourself and there’s nobody out there to explain it to you or fight for you, life looks pretty dismal,” explains Susan Barton, an educational consultant and dyslexia expert.

Emotional damage can start early:  A drop in self-confidence, self-esteem, even a belief that he or she is stupid.  Explain to your LD child that he or she was born with a different kind of brain.  Reading may be hard, but it will get easier, and meanwhile there will be other things that he or she can do very well.

“Find the child’s islands of strength, and make that just as important as what you are focusing on improving,” Barton says.

Shea is good at cheerleading.  Through that sport, and through improvements in reading, her self-esteem is coming back.  “She still has problems,” Kelly says, “but she’s getting confidence now.”

Tips for Parents

For many learning-disabled young people, coping with the disability is much easier than the emotional strain they face daily.  The teasing and mocking by classmates, along with the stress of reading or learning differently from their peers, can have devastating effects on their emotional well-being.  Their self-esteem often plummets, and they lose confidence in their abilities. 

Learning disabilities (LDs) are much more common than most people realize.  Currently, more than 2.8 million school-aged children receive special education services as students with learning disabilities.  The U.S. Department of Education estimates that more than one in six children (17.5%) will encounter a problem learning to read during the first three years of school. 

What is a learning disability?  The National Center for Learning Disabilities defines the condition as a neurological disorder that interferes with a person’s ability to store, process or produce information and creates a “gap” between one’s ability and one’s performance.  It is important to realize that individuals with learning disabilities are generally of average or above average intelligence. 

These disorders may interfere with reading, writing, speaking or computing.  Social skills may also be affected.  According to the National Center for Learning Disabilities, some of the most common types of learning disabilities include the following:

• Dyslexia, perhaps the most commonly known, is primarily used to describe difficulty with language processing and its impact on reading, writing and spelling.
• Dysgraphia involves difficulty with writing.  Problems might occur in the actual motor patterns used in writing.  Also characteristic are difficulties with spelling and the formulation of written compositions.
• Dyscalculia involves difficulty with math skills and impacts math computation.  Memory of math facts, concepts of time, money and musical concepts can also be impacted.
• Dyspraxia (Apraxia) is a difficulty with motor planning and affects a person’s ability to coordinate appropriate body movements.
• Auditory Discrimination is a key component of efficient language use and is necessary to “break the code” for reading.  It involves being able to perceive the differences between speech sounds and to sequence these sounds into meaningful words.
• Visual Perception is critical to the reading and writing processes since it addresses the ability to notice important details and assign meaning to what is seen.
• Attention Deficit (Hyperactivity) Disorder (ADD/ADHD) may coexist with other learning disabilities.  (Incidence estimates vary.)  Features can include marked over-activity, distractibility, and/or impulsivity, which can interfere with an individual’s availability to benefit from instruction.

Learning disabilities are often difficult to recognize because children often exhibit a variety of different symptoms.  The primary characteristic of a disability is a significant difference between a child’s achievement in some areas and his overall intelligence.  The Child Development Institute lists the following symptoms that are common among children with learning disabilities:

• poor performance on group tests
• difficulty discriminating size, shape or color
• difficulty with temporal (time) concepts
• distorted concept of body image
• reversals in writing and reading
• general awkwardness
• poor visual-motor coordination
• hyperactivity
• slowness in completing work
• poor organizational skills
• easily confused by instructions
• difficulty with abstract reasoning and/or problem solving
• disorganized thinking
• obsession with one topic or idea
• poor short-term or long-term memory
• impulsive behavior; lack of reflective thought prior to action
• excessive movement during sleep
• poor peer relationships
• overly excitable during group play
• poor social judgment

It is important to remember that not every child or teen will exhibit all of the symptoms of a learning disability.  Some symptoms may be more common than others, and young people will have varying degrees of the symptoms. 

If you suspect that your child has a learning disability, you should contact his school to arrange for testing and evaluation.  Federal law requires that public schools accommodate and provide special services for children with learning disabilities. 

If your child is diagnosed with a learning disability, you need to realize that this diagnosis will be physically and emotionally difficult for the entire family.  Your child may become depressed or anxious.  He may withdraw from friends and may lose self-esteem.  He may begin to believe what others say about him, which often leads to depression.  The National Institute of Mental Health suggests the following for coping with a learning disability:

• Consider seeking professional help.  Remember, the more that children or teenagers fail, the more they may act out their frustration and damage their self-esteem.  The more they act out, the more trouble and punishment result, further lowering their self-esteem.  Counseling can help learning-disabled children, teenagers, and adults develop greater self-control and more positive attitudes toward their own abilities.  Talking with a counselor or psychologist also allows family members to air their feelings while gaining support and reassurance.
• Realize the emotional strain that the learning disability will place on the entire family.  As a parent, you may feel denial, guilt, blame, frustration, anger, and despair.  Brothers and sisters may be annoyed or embarrassed by their sibling, or jealous of all the attention the child with LD receives. 
• Try joining a support group.  Support groups can be a source of information while providing practical suggestions and mutual understanding.  Families can also benefit from self-help books written by educators and mental health professionals.
• Consider behavior modification.  In behavior modification, children receive immediate, tangible rewards when they act appropriately.  Receiving an immediate reward can help children learn to control their own actions, both at home and in class.  A school or private counselor can explain behavior modification and help parents and teachers set up appropriate rewards for the child.
• Parents and teachers can help an LD student by structuring tasks and environments for the child in ways that allow the child to succeed.  They can find ways to help children build on their strengths and work around their disabilities.  This may mean deliberately making eye contact before speaking to a child with an attention disorder.  For a teenager with a language problem, it may mean providing pictures and diagrams for performing a task.
• Help build their self-esteem.  Every child needs to grow up feeling competent and loved.  When children have learning disabilities, parents may need to work harder at developing their child's self-esteem and relationship-building skills.

References

• Child Development Institute
• National Center for Learning Disabilities
• National Institute of Mental Health
• U.S. Department of Education